


Nothing means more to me than you

by Emerald_Casanova



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Fluff, Guilt, Hospitalisation, Hurt/Comfort, I can’t tag, I ramble too much, John survives, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Near Death, Over Working, Rehabilitation, alex struggles with self care, car crash, fear of storms, first fanfic, i hope there’s fluff anyways, i love this dynamic, john works in a homeless shelter, probs missed loads of tags, they care about each other so much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:55:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald_Casanova/pseuds/Emerald_Casanova
Summary: Basically John works at a homeless shelter and Alex is a lawyer. There is a storm one day and because he is rushing home to reach Alex who is scared of storms due to the hurricane that destroyed his home when he was a child but he crashes and nearly dies this throws Hamilton back into a previous cycle of overworking not eating and not sleeping which they had only recently managed to start working past with the help of counselling. This is basically a possibly slightly angsty hurt/comfort fic showing both their recoveries and basically how nothing means more to them than each other. Also Eliza is a nurse thought I’d throw that in there cause I can totally see it.Set in the modern dayPs. I’m gonna try and make it fluffy and cute but that’s not my usual style so not sure how that will work out.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Kudos: 12





	1. When the world falls apart

**Author's Note:**

> This is all I’ve written so far so don’t expect updates anytime soon. If there is interest or a comment requesting i continue I will probably update sooner. I don’t have any plans for an update schedule unless it’s popular
> 
> Also please forgive typos spelling and grammar I’m terrible at editing  
> Sorry if it impacts the work significantly if it gets many hits I’ll ask one of my friends to check my chapters before I post them in the future

It was going dark quickly as John drove back along the highway towards his waiting husband, he knew he was waiting for him as the rain poured across the road and thunder rumbled from the dark clouds he was driving towards. Of all the days to finish late he thought as he wove through the rush hour traffic. He usually finished his work at the shelter by lunch time and could tie up the accounting at home but there had been more new arrivals than ever due to the incoming storm and he hadn’t managed to slip away.

He sped up as the first flash of lightening seared across the sky ahead of him, dangerously near to his destination, he lived in a small apartment on the outskirts of New York and he knew that Alex would be there shaking curled under the duvet on their bed wondering where he was, he had tried to call to warn him that he would be late but the WiFi was down and he didn’t know how else to contact him. He could barely see through the driving rain as he raced along the treacherous road, suddenly he was skidding, spinning round and round toward the muddy bank as he lost control, he was thrown forward into the steering wheel then everything went black and the next thing he knew he was lying down bright lights over head surrounded by white curtains on all sides.

I’m in a hospital he thought, what happened, he tried to remember, tried to sit up only to realise he was wired to about 4 different monitors. He lay back down but remembered Alex, where was he was he ok, the storm, the rain, he was speeding he knew that, did he crash. He was confused and disoriented but slowly became more aware of his surroundings. He was definitely in a hospital, there was a low buzz of machines around him and the occasional murmur of voices but it wasn’t busy, he alone as far as he could tell but, as he had noticed before, he was held back by multiple machines he assumed to be monitoring his heart rate and stuff. He was just about awake enough to call for help when a nurse walked in pushing past the curtains to check on him.

“You’re awake” she said kindly,”how do you feel”. She was friendly and had a kind smile, John felt he could trust her with anything, “erm yeh I feel ok a bit groggy, where’s Alex, erm Alexander Hamilton, he’s my husband” he replied a little sleepily “oh sorry sweetie he was here a few minutes ago he just went to call someone I think it was laf, I didn’t quite catch the name,” he seemed to wake up a bit at that and was more attentive “ he’s here, is he hurt, what about the storm was he ok, wait what happened, did I crash”, the nurse shushed him before taking his readings and sitting on a chair near the end of the bed, “calm down it’s ok, you almost died in that storm John, you need to slow down, you had a crash and your car spun across the road, it’s a miracle you survived. You’ve been out for 5 days.” She said still as calm as ever, “ when we found you, you were out cold, you hit your head but you also broke two ribs, your leg, and you have a pretty deep gash on your arm where you fell against some of your car after you where knocked out, I’m Eliza by the way I’ve been in charge of you since you arrived you’ve recovered remarkably well but you will need to stay for at least a few more days” she tried to comfort him only to be interupted by a weary Alexander trudging I through the curtain.

“He’s awake sir” Eliza said nodding towards Lauren’s before leaving to give them some privacy. “Alex, are you ok I’m so sorry I wasn’t there I had to work late at the shelter and....” Alex held up a hand for John to stop and pulled the chair to his side, “John I’m fine calm down, you nearly died and you want to know if I’m ok, Lord what is wrong with you”, “but the storm didn’t it affect you didn’t you need my help” John looked up at Alex worried about his husband more than his own well being “ Laurens you don’t know the half of it but I’m ok now you however are not you... you... I don’t know John, I was scared, I didn’t want to lose you, I’ve lost everything.” John seemed to realise how Alex felt and lifted his free hand to his chest weakly holding his husband, “ I’m here though aren’t I,” he looked up,” you didn’t lose me I’m right here,” Alex was crying, not loudly but the silent tears from the past five days all flowed from him as he finally lost his control.

He let them fall dropping his head almost ashamed as he held johns hand closer to his chest, “how long have you been here Alex” John said calmly, “the truth please” Alex looked back to John “five days, since I heard, since I could get over the storm. It’s easier when there’s something more frightening.” Laurens had known before he’d said it that that would be true he knew that Alex wouldn’t have left the hospital for anything knowing he he probably hadn’t eaten for days, “ Alex you need to look after your self, I’m ok I have people looking after me but you don’t we were making progress don’t let this stop that” Alex smiled nervously looking away, he knew he should have gone home slept, showered, but he couldn’t lose anything else. He couldn’t lose his husband.


	2. When smiles mean more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex calls Laf to tell him John has woken up and basically John and Laf try to tell him that he needs to look after himself meanwhile Alex is very worried about John and feels he can’t do anything to help him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for grammar spelling etc   
> Also thanks for the interest it’s very encouraging I didn’t expect this many kudos/hits in the first day

John had fallen asleep and Alex sat by his side until Eliza finally came in and asked him to wait outside. He begrudgingly got up and went to call Laf his best friend besides John and tell him the news. “he woke up for a bit” Alex said as the call connected “ he seems ok but I’m not sure. Can you believe the first thing he said was to ask me if I was alright, what was he thinking he nearly died in that crash Laf,”. “He’s just worried Alex, knowing him he probably thinks it’s his own fault for crashing as well and you know he hates how you are in storms” Laf said, “ but he’s ok right, so you can go home now, get some sleep. You’re only human Alex”, “I have slept” Alex argued. Laf chuckled “ doesn’t count when it’s on a chair for about 2 hours and you know that”, Laf was right he hadn’t really slept for the past five days other than the odd nap on a chair, he hadn’t meant to neglect himself but when all he could imagine was loosing John he couldn’t help it.“fine I’ll go home I’ll sleep but then I’m coming straight back here ok” Alex agreed knowing even if he went home the likelihood of sleep was low. “And eat something as well whilst your at it, cereal bars don’t count either” Laf said “ you know how much John worries Alex you’re as bad as each other.

Alex did know, he knew that John had been worried for him and he knew that was why he was speeding on his way home. It was because of me he crashed Alex thought , he knew he shouldn’t be guilty he knew that would only make it harder for both of them but that didn’t change the fact that he was. “Ok Laf I’ll eat and sleep but I’ll be back in the morning and can you please come and check on him whilst I’m gone I need to know he’s ok.” Lafayette sighed “if that’s the best I’m gonna get out of you then fine but make sure you do sleep and try not to Worry to much it’ll all be fine Alex I’m sure,”. “Ok see you tomorrow then, I guess I’ll try and talk to John before I go” Alex said before hanging up and sitting down on the hard plastic chair that had become his home over the past few days.

Soon Eliza walked out of Lauren’s ward and told him he was ok to go and talk to him, “he’s still quite weak which is understandable but he is healing remarkably well given the speed of the crash, and he seems quite keen to talk to you again” she said smiling the warm encouraging smile he had found lots of comfort in since he had arrived, “I’m going home tonight to get some rest, if something happens please call me whatever time it is, if I don’t pick up call Lafayette or mulligan and tell tell them I asked,”. “I’ll tell whoever’s on the night shift when they arrive are I’m sure they can do that,” Eliza said, “thank you I can’t tell you how worried I am,” Alex said “ I don’t know what I’d do without him”. “It’s fine he’ll be ok I’m sure and he can come home in a few days time if his recovery keeps going this strong, you don’t need to worry” Alex smiled and after a few more words with Eliza he ducked through the curtains to johns side.

“Hey John, how are you feeling,” Alex asked, John was sat up in the bed now and had a glass of water in his hand. “I’m ok, I mean I’m better anyway, how are you have you been home at all or did you spend another night in the corridor outside?” John responded. “Don’t worry I’m going home tonight I’ll be fine I’ll try to get some sleep and eat something but I’m coming back in the morning, I asked Laf to come and check in on you when I’m gone as well and I’ve told Eliza to call if anything happens when I’m gone I know you worry but you nearly died John I can manage a few sleepless nights ok,”. “So you did stay here overnight then, I told you to go home, I’m fine. I’ll last the night without you here, in fact I’m sure I’ll last much longer than that, stop worrying so much you need to look after yourself Alex” John sighed and winced, look at him Alex thought he’s on so many pain killers and it still hurts to do something that simple, Alex felt helpless watching John suffer he took his hands in his not knowing what he could do to help. “You sure you’re ok? You don’t need anymore painkillers, I can get Eliza if you need something,” Alex asked his mind racing, how would he cope tonight knowing that John was here without him. “Alex I’m fine it doesn’t hurt that much trust me I’ve felt worse” John said but Alex wasn’t convinced.

“Please just let me do something to help you I don’t know what to do” Alex said, “Alex please listen I’m fine there’s nothing I need you to do your a lawyer not a doctor I mean getting me out of what ever legal stuff there is for the crash outs be nice but Alex you need to relax” John replied, Alex knew he didn’t have a say in what happened regarding the crash it had to be in the insurance company’s hands by now so that was out of the question, but Alex knew there must be something he could do. He looked down at the glass in johns hands “ you want something better to drink I can get you a coke or something i don’t know” Alex was grasping at straws now. “Ok get me diet though, Eliza wouldn’t be very pleased with me drinking anything remotely unhealthy never mind anything full sugar. But Alex you know you can go home I’m ok and remember I do have Eliza, Laf, Herc and even Jefferson came to see if I was ok I mean that one surprised me but see you don’t need to take all the responsibility.” John smiled at Alex but Alex knew it was only for his benefit.

John had a smile that he used when Alex was upset or when he wanted him to know he was ok. It wasn’t a real smile it was fake and Alex knew it, but he understood what it mean so he tried to relax as he pushed past the plastic curtain and strode towards the vending machine. He bought one Diet Coke for John and one bottle of water for himself, he didn’t know if he could stomach anything else he’d been living off cereal bars and crisps since he had arrived and it was getting to him. He grabbed the drinks but when he reached johns bed he had fallen back asleep, he decided to leave the drink on the side by his water and send him a message telling him he would be back in the morning before holding true to his promise and heading home for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will probs edit the next one more possibly send it to someone to check but I wanted to get this out quick because I’ve been writing a lot recently and I was in the zone.  
> Please leave any comments questions and suggestions in the comments.


	3. Imma give up on naming chapters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laf comes to check up on John
> 
> Trying to organise a beta by the way so my next chapter should be an improvement on the grammar 
> 
> Ps. Sorry for the very late update I’m quite new to writing fanfiction and I’ve been bustpy with exams I will try to update more regularly.

John woke up as Eliza took his last readings before the evenings shift change, he looked around for his water only to find a bottle of Diet Coke in the side. Alex must have left it when I fell asleep he thought reaching to get his drink. “Alex left about an hour ago to have at least one night of sleep, he probably told you he’ll be back in the morning, I’m leaving soon as well for the night so try to get some rest,” Eliza said as she finished noting down something before hanging the clipboard back on the end of his bed. “Ok I’ll try to get some sleep, I’m a bit off kilter at the moment though so not sure how that will work out,” John replied it was true he had slept more in the day since he had woken up than he ever had and still felt half asleep as he tried to sit up without jolting any of his ribs. “These injuries are really starting to annoy me you know,” he said trying to lighten the mood, “well at least you can laugh about it and most of them were quite clean breaks so they’ll heal pretty smoothly,”.

The conversation ended awkwardly as elizas shift ended and she left ducking briskly past the curtains leaving John to his own devices. He took a swig of his coke before setting it back down on the table at his side it was gonna be a long night he thought, it wasn’t the first time he had been stuck in hospital. When he was 17 and he and Alex had only dating for 6 months he had taken up motorcycling, he had almost been talked out of it but at that age he had thought he was invincible so went about purchasing a bike anyway. He had found one online going for just $800 it wasn’t perfect but soon he had called up enough favours to get it running. Alex again tried to talk him out of it again but by now there was no changing his mind. In less than a month he had lost control and fallen when he was practicing. He had managed to break his arm in three places shattered one of his ribs and had a moderate concussion, it had taken him months to get back on his feet.

Alex had fallen apart last time, he hadn’t slept on eaten properly for weeks on end, John knew he couldn’t let that happen this time he had to stop Alex from losing control before he fell too deep. They had only recently managed to work past his workaholics tendencies and build him a healthy routine, but now because of him, all the work they had done for the past year had gone, it had blown away with the storm and again it was his fault. He had been speeding in the rain he had crashed the car, what ever nonsense Alex had tried on him to make him think other wise hadn’t worked, storms don’t crash cars people do and John new for sure that he was the only person responsibilities for what had happened in that storm.

For the next few hours he tried to get what little sleep he could before laf checked in to see how he was doing. The curtain was pulled back carefully and an anxious looking Lafayette appeared. His hair was uncharacteristically untidy but he seemed a sspritly as ever once he noticed he was awake. “So, how you doin” he asked awkwardly perching on the end of the bed. “I’m ok have you spoken to Alex,” John replied. “Not much i we spoke on the phone briefly he’s worried about you. You know that right,” laf said he had never been good at serious stuff and it showed, “I tried to pursued him to get some rest, he said he would, I don’t know John he didn’t seem himself, I mean of course he isn’t himself but,” he trailed off staring into space, John knew what he meant.

“He’s like he was last summer isn’t he, he hasn’t eaten hasn’t slept, I know Laf I saw him, he’s falling apart.” Johns voice was rough and hoarse, “you aren’t well enough Laurens you need to stay here, I know you worry about him just as much, but John for gods sake don’t tell him but you nearly died. How would he manage if you died.” John smiled, “ we both know he wouldn’t Laf that’s the thing,” he didn’t know why it was funny maybe it was the painkillers but for the first time since the crash he smiled, properly not a weak sympathetic smile but a full grin. “John you sure you’re all right that nurse didn’t spike your drink did she.” Now they were both smiling, “you seem ok try to get some sleep won’t you I was sent to tell you all that after all,” laf stood up and ducked through the curtain leaving with one last wave goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading  
> Please post any comments queries questions or suggestions in the comments

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos And comment if you have any questions comments or suggestions it’s very encouraging as a knew author


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